As I embark on the great honor of being the first Guest Editor of the International Body Psychotherapy Journal, I am loudly reminded of the importance of being acknowledged. After receiving a multitude of submissions from authors asking, “Is my work good enough for your journal?” blasts as a parallel process to my own trepidation regarding my own ability to be a judge of their work. Thankfully, I have been a university professor for five years now and have learned how to read first draft submissions. Many times I have watched a very proud and perhaps, at times, entitled student strut to my desk and thrust a paper toward me with expanded chest with matching smirk, expecting me to thank them for doing the assignment. I graciously accept the paper (so long as it is not late), and sit down on the train or at home to grade it. Sometimes a fabulous assignment is written, but most times, they are full of personal statements and opinions that leave me wondering if they have even read the instructions for the assignment. After five years, I know that there are no bad papers. Poorly done, sure, but aside from the rubric, each student is giving me the best of what he or she could do at the time. This includes the last minute, hung-over student who couldn’t find a staple to hold the paper together. Each gesture tells me something about the student, and even though I have to give a grade (I take off a point for missing staples), the papers tell me so much about who they are and where they are at in their learning. I give them feedback according to where they are in their academic process. I once had a student who sent me a 35 page “section” of a 10 page paper. As I began to read, I became more and more confused; the words were misspelled, grammar was atrocious, and the ideas jumped from place to place as if being chased by bees. In addition, the student would suddenly change the format of her paper, start a paragraph from the middle of the page, or insert a poem after half of a sentence. The most shocking was when she would change the color of her text! After two hours, I arrived at page 3, exhausted. I had to find another way. I sat back, and asked myself, “What is this student trying to tell me?” Instead of continuing to decipher the grammar, (which would have taken me weeks), I realized that this student needed to express herself nonverbally. I asked her about her background, and not surprisingly she was a dancer. I asked her to include a dance in her final project to identify the themes of her research inquiry. Months later, at the end of the semester, she brought a video to my office and we watched it together. I was moved and astounded by the beauty and exquisiteness of her movement. By the end of the dance, I was filled with tears of pride! Writing was not how this student was going to move through the world. Her medium was dance, and in her choreography was the most articulate, profound, and insightful expression that I had ever seen in a student at her academic level. Seeing each student, each author for who they are, and not needing to judge is part of how I conduct therapy with my clients. It never helps to judge; neither me nor for my client to judge her/himself. Acknowledging each facet of each client is, in itself, a process of healing, despite how my client is self-judging. Acknowledgement in therapy is practically half the work. Being present with an experience, an emotion or lack thereof, or even something that feels so shameful that it cannot be spoken, is a part of healing. As I acknowledge my clients’ experiences, I help them to acknowledge themselves. This is where the healing begins. As I embark on the great honor of being the first Guest Editor of the International Body Psychotherapy Journal, I am loudly reminded of the importance of being acknowledged. After receiving a multitude of submissions from authors asking, “Is my work good enough for your journal?” blasts as a parallel process to my own trepidation regarding my own ability to be a judge of their work.
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When folks talk about self-awareness, what do they actually mean? Often times it’s a response of “Oh, that’s just how I am,” or “Oh, that’s just me.” On the contrary, self-awareness is the ability to understand oneself in the current moment, just as you are and not how you think you should be! Conceptual self-awareness is an idea of who you are; kind of like seeing yourself on a screen of a movie, or from the outside-in. It’s often metaphoric- something that you can compare yourself with: “I’m like a wave; I just come and go with the flow…” or “I’m generally a happy/shy/angry person.” Unfortunately, using metaphor can also allow judgments to arise, and often does not quite allow you to describe the things about you that make you unique (because you are likening yourself with something that is not you!) Embodied self-awareness, on the other hand is not so vague. Bringing attention to your sensorial experience in the present moment, you might discover something different, rather than “like” and find that there is more to you than a comparison to something else…something that is more true to who you are. For instance, meeting with a client who always entered the room with a bright and cheerful disposition, I was curious if she was aware of the way that she caved her chest in while she smiled. One day she sat down and, I felt my own smile “sticking” on my face. I asked her how she was doing, and with her big open grin, said, “Great!” while continuing to talk about the events of the week. Something didn’t feel right to me, and I noticed that there was a smile that was stuck to my own face. I asked her to check in with her cheeks. Touching her cheeks, she said that she noticed that her face hurt right at the “apples” of them. I asked her to stay with the feeling of the pain for a moment, and within seconds, she began to weep. This was followed by anger. She said that she remembered how her mother always expected her to be a “nice girl” and smile for everyone in her family. She said that she felt angry about this, and a whole flood of emotions emitted from her- including fear. She realized that she had been living her life as a “happy person” to the outside world, while feeling sadness, anger and fear that she did not allow herself to experience until that session. By checking in with her embodied experience, she was able to understand a deeper level of her experience; as she talked about her week, something very important was going on in her body that informed her of how she relates to people in the world. Self awareness is also different from self consciousness. We all know what self-consciousness is like. We contract, either emotionally or physically, and try to hide. Shameful feelings are at the surface, and those we are in contact with do not get to see who we are. Self awareness, on the other hand, is what happens when you allow yourself to celebrate who you are; live fully embodied and present in each moment. You become kinder, both to yourself and to others. You reach out, rather than contract, and, well…laugh a whole lot more. “It’s like I don’t care so much about things that used to bother me!” Another client recently said to me. “I’ve stopped fighting with my fiancé. I don’t feel victimized anymore, because I feel like I really know myself now and can trust my own intuitions and judgments. Oh, and I’m not judging myself so much!” Self awareness, through embodied practice can change the way you live in your skin, and the way that you live in the world with others. For more information about how to feel better inside yourself, make an appointment for somatic psychotherapy! It's not what you think! Hello! Welcome to my blog. I hope you find the information here helpful. I have dedicated this blog to honoring past clients (anonymously, of course!) and helping current and future clients to make the most out of their experiences in therapy with me.
For starters, I'd like to offer some tips for new clients who are searching for a therapist. First and foremost: be picky! If you are really going to commit to the therapeutic process, you want to make sure that you are comfortable with the person sitting across from you. Here are some other tips for starting therapy:
So! This is a start. Check back soon, (or subscribe to the rss feed) to see some more tips on how to use your therapy time most effectively! |
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AuthorDr. Tantia is a clinical psychotherapist who specializes in somatic approaches to therapy. In addition to thoughts and emotions, she helps her patients to identify and understand the somatic, or felt-sense of psychic healing. Archives
October 2021
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